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  • Stolen donuts from the Milk House on Windsor Avenue
  • Sloppy Joe's and Fish Sticks at the Jefferson Cafeteria
  • Cabbage from a palm tree
  • A six-foot long rattlesnake
  • Warm corn tea in the jungle of Costa Rica
  • "Cowboy Caviar"


  • The sounds of windows breaking at Audubon Elementary
  • Ice ripping beneath our feet on the Mississippi River during spring thaw
  • Crowds yelling for Jesse Owens and me
  • Exploding oven bulbs
  • The awful sounds from my violin, saxophone, and trombone
  • Thirty books hitting the floor at the same time in Popeye's class
  • The bomb exploding
  • The homerun that made me quit
  • Exploding glass in a car from a bowling ball
  • A conversation with the dead
  • A squealing pig in my living room
  • A visit from a ghost
  • A bobcat screech only feet away


  • The skin of an alligator I caught with my hands
  • The church key in our back pockets
  • The shocking cold water of the Mississippi River when we jump from a bridge
  • The clothesline when it chokes Tom's throat
  • The monster under my desk
  • The Olympic Torch I carried
  • The burning, painful shins trying to kick an armadillo
  • My frozen underwear
  • My bleeding rump from the "Wildman Ride"
  • My bruised ribs from the fluffy lady who fell on me when the hot air balloon crashed
  • The box of Rice Krispies in my bed


  • My "Pissing Neptune" statue
  • The unique rock a kindergartener holds in his hand
  • "Bobo", the chimp, perform a special feat at Skate Town
  • The fella in the caboose choke on dirt as he passes by
  • The gum wad taped to "Danny's" nose
  • A dead carcass in the street and a half-dead child on the sidewalk
  • Miss Phifner's garter belt
  • The wild hog caught by hand
  • A 'Pope on a Rope', soap
  • Me shoot a wild animal inside my porch
  • The burned-out Freedom Rider's Bus


  • Fumes from the sewer where we played
  • 10,000 year old rotted vegetation
  • The pine tree in my pool
  • Burned rubber and pee in Mickey's van
  • Sardines in my new car
  • Burned horns on a calf
  • Vapors of animal hides, guts, and blood on our clothes
  • Jiffy peanut butter on a dog's nose


  • My unusual invention
  • Boobs against my cheeks in fifth grade
  • Boners, Farts, and Peeing Contests
  • The adrenalin from hopping a moving train
  • A KKK rally in Alabama
  • The Swamp Camp
  • The "No-Needle" Christmas Tree
  • "The Healthiest Boy Contest" and "Sons-A-Britches" clothing store
  • Riding a horse from Colorado, going into Oklahoma, and ending in New Mexico
  • Hang-gliding, hot air balloon ride, parasailing, cliff diving, ultra-light ride, air boating in swamps, and zip line ride in Costa Rica


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